My mother died on October 29, 2016.
Donald Trump was elected to be president of the United States the day after her funeral.

When you lose someone you love, you often feel out of sync with the rest of the world. I do, anyway. I often look around and wonder how everything and everyone can go on like nothing’s wrong when to me, the whole world seems to have fallen away.

By that same token, though, looking toward that normalcy can give you an idea about what you can someday be again, what you can aspire to. If you fall in step with the normal daily life around you, it becomes easier to recover. “Fake it ’til you make it” and all that. It gives you hope that you might someday feel like you again.

When you lose someone you love, you feel like the world should be falling apart with you. It doesn’t seem right that somehow everything around you is just business as usual. Still, I never expected the world to actually fall apart with me.

Scrolling through social media the last few days leaves me at a loss. There is no normalcy right now. Not for anyone. So tell me this: If everything is madness, exactly what am I to look to for hope of integrating back into the world? There’s not yet normalcy in my house or my heart. Everything inside of me is chaos, and I’m desperately looking to the rest of the world to show me, remind me that I’ll be okay. That there is hope. That there’s something to sync back up to.

But all that’s out there is terror and anger and hopelessness.

That’s the same thing I have in here.

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